Small thoughts

Small sparks. I can see the flames trying to dance out from beneath the surface. I can feel the heat, sense the urging; the longing for fuel to feed the blaze that can be. It shimmers and shifts; seemingly a mirage, but the depths of me knows that I have touched eternity.

What if film becomes more than art? What if music becomes more than words and melody? What if art becomes more than presentation? What if words become more than just ideas?

Imagine these tools in the hands of artisans skilled in crafting message, experienced in communicating purpose, desperate to weave eternal into fleeting things. What if we finally begin to touch something larger than ourselves, and begin to reveal Him who is greater than all things and in all things?

Hope brings life, and life brings light to tear darkness from its throne and death from its feast. Saturate your mind with the impact of these tools. Now use them to bring hope.

These are the thoughts in my mind. I wrestle with these instructions, I find myself desperate to build my kingdom of fame and fortune. Hollow mountains made of thinest glass. Dreams separated from purpose; vain ambitions. They mean nothing if they do nothing for anyone but myself. Oh let me see outside of my tiny kingdom of filth to a life extraordinary.

Small set

Last night I had the privilege of playing a small set at an art gallery exhibit opening. I was invited by another musician, Seth Hall, to come and play a half hour set. The artist, Ashley Lathe, was an incredibly genuine person that I enjoyed talking to and learning the history behind his works.

The crowd that came was gracious, and as I played all I could think about was how much I like doing this. I watched as people sat in their small subgroups and talked and laughed, enjoyed the artwork and the evening. I just hoped that in someway I was able to contribute to their night out in a positive way.

Cove of Recovery

Finding the right words to describe this weekend is going to be hard. I had wonderful moments of complete faith, and within an hour crumpled to the ground in complete bitterness and defeat. My head is reeling from the circular, internal storm that has raged.

My mind has anchored in the shallow waters of a peaceful cove, but the ship has endured much damage. The sails are tattered, the rudder is splintered, the mast has cracked and I am exhausted. I have sailed long and hard on a voyage that has been my own. Pride, fear, anxiety, selfishness, and greed have been my invisible crew and treacherous soothsayers. Listening to them I have wrought unspeakable damage to this vessel.

But the vessel is not beyond hope, it is not beyond repair. In this cove I have reunited with a master craftsman and mentor. One whose gentle words have reminded me that life is more than my ambition. Narrower is the path and harder is the journey than can be imagined. And I am gently reminded that my frail attempts to bargain for my way are no good where I am heading.

Preparation begins in the heart. This is where the story begins. This is where the story's end is determined. I am mulling over what this means: letting go of everything that I hold as necessary to trust one who is trust's author.

Rhythms and Randoms

I have holed myself in the small corner of my room with my laptop after an exhaustive session of recording and mixing. I am working on a collaboration project with a friend of mine. The concept is taking life and its ammunition is causing me to stretch and expand my current style and capability. It's hard, but it's nice to be pushing myself outside of my comfort zone of creating music.

As I've tried this new style it has loosened tidbits of treasure from seemingly scorched land. The sky has opened its arms and the horizon seems to inflate. Its broadened borders offer both the comfort and the challenge that I have much to learn. I am excited about this new land. A new playground to explore.

Has your creative land expanded lately?

What are you doing to stretch beyond that which you are currently comfortable?

Lesson: Don't Rush

Lessons come in different packages. Some are small and gently tug your conscience, and others are boisterous and unexpectedly pimp-slap you. The former are nice to have, but sometimes it takes the latter for you to be able to drink in reality as it should be.

In my mind I had pieced together everything that needed to happen over the course of the next few months: handing in my two week notice at my current position, pack up all that I own (which is hardly much, but more than I need), and move to Charlotte. And I truly hadn't thought much more in depth than that.

I have been the king of quick decisions in my short span on this earth. I have picked up and moved to Portland(OR), San Diego, and Raleigh(NC) with intermittent stops back in the homeland of Virginia. Never thought twice, just moved.

And here is Wisdom that has shifted my world off-axis: Those who make haste with their feet err.

Period.

August Rush

Holidays are wonderful because you finally have use of a thing that seems to elude you the rest of your days; time. Its seems that the world hunches over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath for a moment, before starting to run again. And the luxury afforded is the choice of what to do with your time.

One of my choices this weekend was to take in an anticipated movie (for me) with my family; August Rush. I thought I knew what expect from the film, but I must say that I was delightfully surprised. The weaving of the story was beautiful with rhythms of time moving back and forth, and melodies that pervaded this haphazard family to become a beautiful song and uncover the bonds of a family yet fated to be.

I thought that Keri Russell and Freddie Highmore did a wonderful job capturing characteristics and reflecting each other in mannerisms and actions. I would definitely recommend this for your viewing pleasure.

Ah yes.. the holidays

Friends and family I welcome you to the insanity that is the holiday season. A time when Christmas music clogs the airways, and decorations are set out so early that I feel I may be celebrating the wrong holiday. It seems to begin creeping in earlier and earlier every year, and it causes me to want to sing Deck the Halls as I munch on a plate of turkey.

I don't mind Christmas music, I actually enjoy listening to Christmas music at various points in time during the year. Strange, I know.

The one aspect that I do not enjoy about the holidays is the gruesome travel days before the main events. All of America seems to leave at exactly the same time and cause trip times to suddenly double. But, the outcome is worth the effort in getting to see friends and family and share the joy of being able to be together.

Fiendish Beast and the Song Beneath

It is often found sitting in a small undisturbed corner of my mind. It sits singing a familiar song and seems to be harmless enough until I venture closer and discover that its claws have been tearing at corners of my mind, and at the edges just past consciousness. This little mongrel is all the unspoken fears and lies that I have "heard all my life". It seems innocent enough until realizing that its been quietly eating at my dreams and aspirations since birth.

Recognizing it is one thing, dealing with this vile thing is quite another.

Starving artist is its song, and how I've listened to the melody, convinced that the gifts and passions that I have amount to drivel in the "real world". Pray tell, who has defined the value of these gifts in the "real world"? Why have I bought into something spoken as fact without evidence, as meat without substance?

That little "it" should never be my focus. There is a song that plays deeper, whose melody is masterfully plucked, and whose ancient words whisper life into things yet crafted. These words are True words, these words are life to beaten bones and broken spirit. Gifts given were not gifted in vain. Purpose will not lie in slumber any longer. The Master Artisan breathes life into unseen depths and the spark draws breath beneath the babbling chorus of the creature that seems not to perceive its end. Change is here. I can feel it.

Been wonderin'

Sorry first to blogland for neglect. My intent is not to leave you hopeless, but hopefully breathless. The tornado that has been my week touched down early Monday morning with a co-worker spat. By middle week, if verbal abuse was manifested physically, I would have had a black eye, busted lip, and cracked ribs.

I've healed slowly, but perspective has been rendered anew. Life is much too short to not be doing what you are supposed to be doing. Fresh eyes through trials is a blessing in disguise. It's funny how random things help adjust the view in your mind. A concert and a fight at work have me really thinking. Charlotte ... I'm wondering.

Life is beautiful..

I feel as though I just realized that I have been trying to carry my horse. The simple act of recognizing the issue; staring that awkward rhino in the face and telling him he looks ridiculous tip-toeing about. Admitting it, I think, is half the battle. And then it's the wonderful sense of relief that you get when you realize that these symptoms are common to all people in some form or another.

It's been a wonderful reading about the reasons why I do what I do to avoid doing what needs to done. (Try to say that sentence several times fast, and if you didn't follow the logic, it's okay; I had to read it several times to make sure it actually made sense). And this is the really and truly beautiful part about it. I have been doing something about it. No longer will I simply acknowledge the rhino's presence. No, now I'm teaching the rhino to dance.

Here's the practical: Big project? Break it down into bite-size pieces. Take a bite at a time.. don't try to fit the entire meal into your mouth at once. It sounds and is simple. But it is absolute music and freedom to someone who tries to do everything perfectly and conquer everything on my own. I now understand the perspective from Proverbs about the sluggard and the diligent. Diligence isn't conquering in one take, it's doing small steady things to bring it together.

Rant over.

The photo is from Gilad. He has some pretty incredible photos if you ask me.

Discoveries that make you go...

I read an article today about a topic that is near and not so dear to my heart. It came about as a result of doing some self analysis. I have been doing quite a bit of that lately. Here's what I discovered: The reason that I don't seem to get any where with my dreams and desires is that I have a HUGE problem with..... procrastination.

Cringe with me if you will. The two biggest aspects of procrastination that I deal with are fear and perfectionism. The fear causes doubt in me, brings up all the things that could go wrong, and makes everything look like a gargantuan mountain that I must climb on my own. The perfectionism tells me that I must know how to do everything well before I start out on trying to accomplish it. This would explain why I have tons of books on business and music, but have yet to make any real headway in either.

I can gain all the knowledge in the world about a subject, but until I put feet to the idea, the true learning does not begin. My enemy is the belief that I can't make a living doing the things that I love. I want to destroy this enemy, take it out with a vengeance and begin the true process of learning. The time for talk and gathering information is over, the time to start walking it out has arrived. This evening is the dawn of a change (kind of sounds like an oxymoron, evening, dawn). Doubt must die on this day that celebrates death.

Underneath it all

I listen to the rhythms of my city. Asphalt and tire collide in layers and layers of sound. All pitched differently based on eagerness from the steed's rider. Air brakes hiss, and crosswalks chirp melodies, trains sound briskly, and yet still the organic has a voice. Crickets sing sadly, and the leaves rustle restlessly against their nourishment; eager to be free to discover the world on their own.

All this is the backdrop for the drama that unfolds daily. Here we are one million strong, but not one million unified. Each carves their own niche in this urban wilderness. Surrounded by people and yet completely alone. It's amazing how much of our time we spend in isolation. We all desire to have deep and meaningful relationships with those around us, but most of us don't even know our neighbors names.

The restlessness has been brooding beneath the surface and the ceramic masks we wear are becoming dangerously thin. What would it be like if we let go of what we thought that people thought about us, what we believed about them, and looked at our world through child like glasses? Perhaps we'd see that everyone else is just like us underneath it all.

Self Evaluation

So it has occurred to me over the course of the past several weeks that I have the attention span of a chipmunk on crack. In most moments of my life I am thinking about four or five different things, and volleying between elation and frustration, with a side of confusion thrown in for good measure.

I believe that I would get much more accomplished in my life if I simply slowed down my thought processes and concentrated on one thing at a time. Instead I scramble about trying to juggle three things at a time and push hard not to miss opportunities to be around friends and family when I have the chance.

It's time for an overhaul. It's time to set the major priorities and begin to structure my life a little more, without falling over the edge into the land of militant administration. I want to leave room for the spontaneity and randomness that I seem drawn towards at life-threatening speed. Balance....

Balance is the theme that I have heard on the internal megaphone for the past several months. So how do you develop balance in your life?

Learning

I can feel my blood flowing as I'm standing there coaxing my strings into a tuned position. I know their eyes are on me, but I feel a strange calm despite. The sounds of the world turn muffled as I step to the microphone, and for a brief moment the world stands still and I can feel and hear beyond what should be capable. I hear every string sing it's piece of the puzzle, and I feel the air fill my lungs and diaphragm. In that seemingly unending moment there is a strange realization that you are committed to it whether you like it or not. You pray that your voice compliments the handiwork of your fingers, and the world suddenly slides back to its usual rhythm.

You sense every emotion heightened beyond reason and all crammed together in unexplainably close time. Panic of being off tune, joy at seeing someone mouth the words, a dubious sensation at someone with an awkward look on their face. It happens so clearly, so definitely, but all within the context of realizing that you are simultaneously doing a another complete process. Practice becomes second nature, and those familiar words and chords deliver themselves into the ears of those who will judge them through their own filter of perspective. You release it to them to do with as they please, and hope that it draws them into your emotions and the world that you have experienced and captured in the songs you've penned.

The processes switch and the words and music become an encompassing force that leads you into the depths of meaning and time those words and melodies evoke. Hope that as those words kiss their ears, it becomes their story, it becomes their song. We can then share an intimacy that goes beyond what you are able to see or touch... a place that allows us all to grow and learn more of one another.

Showin' it up

Hey everybody,

This is going to be a quick post. I am sitting at Helios Coffee Company trying to get my nerves in check as I prepare to do a show here in several minutes. I'm excited. I am getting ready to set up for it. It's a little nerve-wracking, but I am going to treat it as an adventure. I am going to go out there and just have fun, because that is what the show should be.

And there you are.

It's been a while...

So life was handed to me like a hurricane this past week.. and frankly, this week has been no different. I would not call myself overwhelmed, just simply engulfed to the point of no return. It's not a bad thing, mind you. Just a simple reminder that many things are beyond my control, and that I constantly need something Grander to hold onto.

Weddings, pregnancies, engagements, dates, and shows swirl about my head at breath-wrenching speed. I've not been able to tell if there is rest ahead for lack of brakes on this jolly trolley. It smiles sadistically as it weaves to and fro on the unpredictable path called "life as I know it".

Yes.. and no. It is and isn't that bad. It's not bad so much as frantic. And frantic without unnecessary fretting. Dizzy yet? Welcome to my world. As it all rushes to the apex of the show on Friday, I have to remind myself to stop.

Breathe. Tomorrow has enough worries of its own. Live today simply and remember that it all works out....

There. That's better isn't it.

Progress.. progress

Ladies and Gentlemen I have just beaten two of my seven looming projects. I slapped those projects in the face and made them cry. They now know that Jeremy armed with a list, means trouble ahead and danger Will Robinson.

I am drawing some sort of oozing satisfaction that I conquered them so quickly. My friends it is a glorious day. Though tempted to slack off now for the rest of the day, I will press forward and stare my next project in its beady little eyes. It's on..

So what would you all think that the best way to get gigs booked would be?

The Madness of it all

I think that I have too many pots on the stove right now. I have at least seven projects on going, leaving me in moments of panic, despair, elation at having something to be doing, and then disappointment at not getting things done....

So I broke down and did it the other day.... I wrote a list. This is a day of triumph in adulthood for me, and sad realization that the Peter Pan winging gig just won't cut it anymore. Why do I believe the lie sometimes that responsibility and order are the death of dreams?

I am also seeing that projects are much more enjoyable when you share them with other people. I have spent far too long holed up in the solitary land of Party of One. It stinks.. I'm done with that ride, let's go get some cotton candy and see if we end up losing our biscuits on the Gravitron.

Collaboration is on the menu.

Another one I'm ready for..

I went to take in the sights and sounds of Across the Universe yesterday afternoon. I was not dissapointed. Very creative approach to the musical genre of film. Stylish with Gen X appeal. There was a weaving of the story through various characters and the subtle connections that brought them all together. You had to concentrate on the story rather than the acting, but I thought overall it was a great film.... but that's not what this is about.

My eyes were introduced to a new film that has me itching for its release. I think that it has a special place in my heart because of the musical aspect. The name of the film is August Rush. I don't think it's going to get a lot of attention, but I will definitely shell out to see it.

And there we are

This is my first post for October. Sad, but true. I have been fighting the reinstitution of East Coast time in my body, and the ominous threat of the cubicle blues with every ounce of my soul.

I am determined not to let the gray chamber of death beat down my will for something greater. Something that demands more of me than the pushing of buttons and the creation of company-standard reports. Steady pay checks are nice, but to me they seem like slips of paper that are meant to numb me into a life void of adventure, danger and the unexpected. I long for adventure. I long for something more than security and the status quo.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, but what will those measures be?

Leaving on a jet plane....

I'm heading to San Diego for the weekend to see one of my old roommates get married. He's the second of the 3 roommates to get married.. I guess that means I'm next.

I'm stoked about getting out there and seeing the West Coast again. It's been a while since I've been there. So I will just leave you with this video to ponder the meaning of the American Society as a whole.. or just to laugh until you pee yourself.

Life and the Freight Train

I have been a fairly terrible blogger these past couple of days. I have not posted as regularly as I have been. I apologize, the Freight Train seems to have run through my life in the past couple of days. Not in a bad way, but in an incredibly good way. My perspective is changing and I like the new view.

I think I'll keep it cryptic for right now, but I have a question or two for you:

What's your next artistic undertaking?

Where are you at in your preparation for it?

Self Admonishment

I am seeing some obvious gaps in what I am currently doing and where I want to be in the future. I have hopes and aspirations to be successful in the music industry, but what exactly am I doing today to prepare for that tomorrow? .. not as much as I should be. There are a lot of little small things that I need to become disciplined in doing in order to move towards these ultimate goals.

There is no point in getting frustrated that you can't get anywhere in whatever it is that you are passionate about if you are not taking the small steps necessary to move towards those goals. It's like a person sitting in a parked car yelling at it because it won't take them to the store.

You have use the keys to start the ignition, put the car in drive, push the gas, use the brakes and turn the steering wheel in order to make it to the store. The car won't move by itself.

So what are the little things that you should (I should) be doing to get there?

My new babies

Boys and Girls.. do you know what these are?

That's right! They are Par64 cans! I am so excited and I don't really even know why. Perhaps it's just the incredible potential that these lights have.

I got them from a guy who was upgrading his light system in a bar. Can you say God was smiling on me?

I think I might name them all. Or is that a little too personal?

I love Lamp.

Question to think about...

I have been going out to a lot of live shows lately and have enjoyed watching the way bands and crowds interact. The interplay that happens is indescribable. You watch a fan get pumped up when they hear their favorite song, and you see the performer step up their performance at the hint of that enthusiasm. The exchange is intoxicating to say the least.

I have noticed an overwhelming response to bands when they play older, more recognizable tunes. So here is my question to you:

What older, recognizable songs get your adrenaline pumping, feet moving, and creates an atmosphere that goes beyond enjoyable to almost.. electrifying?

Across the Universe and into Obscure

I am kinda excited about this post. You see.. I have several things that I am passionate about besides music. Film is one of those several things.

I have been anticipating the release of the film "Across the Universe". I remember seeing a trailer for it over the holiday season with my brother and sister, and we all just kind of turned to each other, mouths gaping and eyes wide as planets... "Oh I've got to see this" was about the only thing that I could get out.

The movie is sort of a Beatle-centric acid trip. It seems like a love story at the beginning, but then the world bends in on itself and you see things that you wonder if you really just saw. And top the head-trip off with this little dandy fact: it's a musical. (I think I just heard my conscience sob for recommending a musical)

I am listening to the soundtrack for the movie, which is a bunch of remakes of the Beatles original tunes. Some of the more notable/unusual ones are the Joe Cocker's take on "Come Together", Dana Fuchs' and Martin Luther McCoy's version of "Oh Darling!", and Joe Anderson's take/interpretation of "Hey Jude".

I know that there will be many die hard Beatles fans that will be appalled by the dismantling of the Beatles classic cuts, but my hope is that it will introduce a new generation of people to one of popular music's most innovative and influential bands.

Questions for you

I have been thinking about the things that make me fall in love with certain bands. A lot of times it is just the great music. Sometimes it is watching how much fun they're having while performing live. Other times it's just the way that they treat the people around them. And on occassion it is just the outrageousness of their personality(insert the band, Man Man, here). Yes this is for real. My brother and I saw them in Athens. Probably one of the most entertaining bands I have ever seen.

So what makes you fall in love with certain band?

What do they do at shows that you love?

What are some cool things that they do on their websites?

What makes you feel connected to the bands that you love?

Think about it and let me know.

Got me by the Horns

I have been listening to this new band that someone casually told me to check out. I've been listening to it like it's nobody's business. It J Roddy Walston and the Business. If you haven't heard them, check them out. They rock house like it's supposed to be done.

Their album "Hail Mega Boys", is one of the better albums that I have heard in a long time. I am one of those very picky people that give music about 30 seconds to make an impresssion. I have listened to this album all the way through at least 5 times already. That's what I'm talking about.

Go and check it out on Napster.

Small Details, Big Impressions

So I ran across an article by the guy who started CD Baby, Derek Sivers. If you don't know about CD Baby.. well you have just broken the heart of thousands of independent artists. It is a great place to discover new incredible independent bands, so go check it out. But enough of that...

The article described a musician that he had met in Las Vegas. The thing he mentioned about this artist, that made them memorable, was the simple act of making someone feel special. Attention to little details. She would send a thank you note to the people she would meet at trade shows and industry showcases within days of meeting them, thanking them for their time.

It's a small thought, but it seems like it's always the small things that lead to bigger things. Thanks Derek for getting my head crankin' a little more...

A Big Influence

Ladies and Gentleman.. I would like to introduce you to the man who exposed me to all kinds of incredible music when I was a kid. That's right ... my Dad. He's a pretty good lookin' man if I do say so myself.. I can say that because we look pretty much identical. That way I'm talkin' both of us up. That's what's up Pops.

This man was responsible for introducing me to the like of Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding, The Righteous Brothers, Stevie Wonder, James Brown, Parliament, America, CCR, Fats Domino, The Temptations, and countless other bands that have all played a part in shaping the music that I love and love to create. This is just a small thank you to him for his introduction to the music world. He is an incredible father, awesome role model, and pretty freakin' sweet drummer too. Thanks Dad.

Sunday Morning

So this is the sunday morning recap of last night. I went down to one of my favorite local joints; Amra's. It was packed last night and the atmosphere was incredible. I like Amra's for the classic feel that it emanates. You always have a good mix of young and old.
There is always live music on the weekends which is my favorite part. I hunker down in the corner and watch these seasoned music veterans for several reasons:

I learn how they communicate with one another without using words.
I also discover what songs seem to be classic hits that get people up and dancing.

Last night's band was no exception. They hit it hard and packed the dance floor with people enjoying themselves; boisterous and slightly intoxicated... it's non-stop entertainment. I picked up a song that seems to be a crowd favorite: Superstitious by Stevie Wonder. Thank you Stevie for helping people around the world shake their booty.

Introduction to blogging

So this is my debut in the blogging world. I know, I know.. it's about time. It seems like I may be the last person on planet earth to have started a blog. This blog is gonna be diary of sorts I suppose. It will unofficially document the startings of a career in music..

My pathetic attempts, joyous successes, embarrasing moments, and triumphant times will be yours in full. Please don't make fun, at least not too loudly. No I take that back. Laugh all you want, because I'll probably be laughing too. I have an unusual gift of being able to get into peculiar circumstances.

Just remember, your thoughts, ideas, criticism and encouragement will all play a part. You will be my inspiration, encouragement, glimmer of hope, and laugh that I need on this road filled with pitfalls, successes, bruises and legendary battle scars.


You're a part of this now. Let's bang it up.