Finding the right words to describe this weekend is going to be hard. I had wonderful moments of complete faith, and within an hour crumpled to the ground in complete bitterness and defeat. My head is reeling from the circular, internal storm that has raged.
My mind has anchored in the shallow waters of a peaceful cove, but the ship has endured much damage. The sails are tattered, the rudder is splintered, the mast has cracked and I am exhausted. I have sailed long and hard on a voyage that has been my own. Pride, fear, anxiety, selfishness, and greed have been my invisible crew and treacherous soothsayers. Listening to them I have wrought unspeakable damage to this vessel.
But the vessel is not beyond hope, it is not beyond repair. In this cove I have reunited with a master craftsman and mentor. One whose gentle words have reminded me that life is more than my ambition. Narrower is the path and harder is the journey than can be imagined. And I am gently reminded that my frail attempts to bargain for my way are no good where I am heading.
Preparation begins in the heart. This is where the story begins. This is where the story's end is determined. I am mulling over what this means: letting go of everything that I hold as necessary to trust one who is trust's author.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
hmmm seems like everyone is doing a lot of thinking these days.
"Preparation begins in the heart. This is where the story begins. This is where the story's end is determined." that's good and true.
i'll be praying for you.
this is awesome. i can't tell you how closely i relate to this... but you've painted it into a much more striking picture.
i'll be praying, as well.
Very striking, indeed. Good stuff as always - and I'll be thinking of ya
mmmm....good. We'll talk about this on our 13 hour drive to NY. I know big changes are hard to go through and/or decide to go through, but the Lord is always faithful and good to those who love him.
Post a Comment